What is the nature of the despair that makes both Charles (in Part One) and Cal (in Part Four)
restless, drawn to borders of respectability? If Charles and Cal—as opposed to Adam and
Aron—are the sons who love their fathers, why do their fathers reject them?
I am woman....hear me roar.....
9 years ago
3 comments:
Charles wanted so much to have his father love him and value the things about him. Because that was lacking he took his pain out on Adam. Cal wanted so much to be loved and respected by his father, Adam, but felt there was preference to Aron.
Cyrus was not a good father to either Charles or Adam but Charles felt his gifts had no meaning to his father and so felt his father loved Adam more.
Adam loved Cal but seemed to love the "purity" of Aron more or at least showed it. I thought it was sad that Cal had worked hard and was so excited about his money gift to his father and then had it rejected so painfully that it really hurt him and that was after a moment in time when his father had expressed love to him. However, both boys were "without a father' for so many years when Adam withdrew himself from life because of Cathy.
Their despair comes from jealousy and that human need to be loved. Their negative behavior is an attempt to fill a void.
Why don’t their fathers love them? I guess because they are human and play favorites. Even Cain's offering wasn’t “bad”. His offering was just not considered as good as his brother’s offering and his jealousy drove him to choose to hurt his brother. I feel bad for all three of our C boys because it does hurt to seek love and approval from someone who does not see you. You wonder why your offering is not enough, especially when you seem to be trying even harder than the “favorite”. Cal was smart enough to go to school a year early and could have done all the things that earned Aron their fathers love but he was desperately trying to do something that he considered bigger and more grand to win his father’s affection. His sacrifice was given with more love and sacrifice but also with more pride and less awareness of what his father actually valued and was therefore unacceptable.
It does make me sad to see how they were rejected. It does make you wonder, if that father had been more accepting of that child could things have turned out differently for them?
I think maybe they saw the parts of themselves that scare them in these children. Occasionally I see things of myself that I don't like in my children and wish they didn't have that... but of course I don't reject them for it. But I could see that happening.
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